C.U.S.T.A.R.D. Paraphernalia

These fine items are made by and sold through Cafe Press,
an enormously useful online print-to-order company.

Hands Off My Clock! bumper sticker Express your feelings about Daylight Saving Time with this handsome bumper sticker. The background is a photo detail of the General Relativity Clock, a Dave Grossman scrap-art sculpture which began as a statement about Daylight Saving. Actual size is 10" x 3". ($3.49) Take me to the order page!

Augmentation Chronometer For the person on the go. This amazing device from Phrenopolis Cog & Sprocket uses patented Dequadraflexichron technology to add two hours to your day. The text below the center of the chronometer reads as follows: "Users are cautioned to keep the face of this device clean, so as to avoid impairment of the microscopic binomial solar detectors, an essential component of the patented Dequadraflexichron system used to increase the amount of available time. Do not allow batteries to run out or time will stop, potentially causing considerable inconvenience." My personal experience: the clocks are fine, though the one I got didn't have the hands aligned correctly. If they still haven't figured out that they should do this at the factory by the time you order, it's easy enough to fix - pop the faceplate off using a screwdriver (it's held on by little tabs accessible from the back of the clock), push all the hands straight up to 13 o'clock, pop the face back on and Bob's your uncle. I also discarded the battery it came with in favor of a good one, and it's been keeping good time. Actual size is 10" diameter. ($12.99) Take me to the order page!