Phrenopolis Maximegalomporium

A Theoretically Infinite Shopping Mall with Only One Product

Ode to the Stuff in the Sink

"Ode to the Stuff in the Sink" is a book full of amusing light verse and cartoons about things like beer, burning toast, shaving, and not doing the laundry. We have dubbed it "a book of guy poetry" because such things are often associated with the stereotypical male, but we feel that the appeal is actually more universal. Not only would YOU probably like it, but it would also make a great gift for either
  1. a guy, or
  2. someone who knows a guy.

At $9, it costs less than going to a movie (even alone and without popcorn). This is more fun and you get to keep it.

Some samples of the contents appear farther down this page.

Here are some things you can do now:

Content Samples:

The Wounded Buffalo

(a dance for those, like me, who don't)

Shuffle aimlessly, one, two, three
Shake your shoulders awkwardly
Elbow your neighbor, apologize
Collide with the person on the other side
Try to find the downbeat with your head
Give up and move at your own pace instead
Speed your steps when the melody slows
Come close and crush your partner's toes
Bounce uncertainly up and down
Gyrate wildly like a spring-loaded clown
Stiffen up and imitate a robot for a bit
Flop like an epileptic invertebrate
Stand stock still and make motions with your hands
Like shadow puppets dancing in Ameslan
Then run in a circle like a lop-sided top
And try to not fall over when the music stops


Twas a white and frigid wasteland
Kept bare as only bachelor could
Pon the otherwise vacant shelf
A solitary sentinel stood
Cried I: O friend, O watchful one,
O stately obelisk of foamy pleasure
Give forth thy dark and bitter blood
Thy beastly yeasty treasure
That I may douse my base desires
My sins by brew atone
That I may prove that bachelor
Can live by beer alone

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Contents copyright 1996, 1999 and 2002 by Dave Grossman