Ignorance is BLIS!

The Phrenopolis Balanced-Line Instant Subway

Ready for departure on track 21

The Instant Subway uses a carefully calibrated aggregate vector-balancing system between arriving and departing trains so that the only time lost is the small amount consumed by friction - you arrive at your destination nearly instantaneously.

(As an example of how this works: If a train travels from New York to Baltimore at a rate of 60 miles per hour, and an identical train travels from Baltimore to New York at exactly the same time and speed, the sum of the velocity vectors of the two trains is zero - no work is being done in the system as a whole. Upon the arrival of the trains, the two locations are exactly as they were before the trains left. On average the trains have not moved, and therefore take no time to do so.)

The extreme efficiency of the vector offset system allows the subway to be run at ridiculously low cost, which is why tickets are not required. You can choose from a variety of popular destinations. If you must leave Phrenopolis (we have no idea why you would want to), we suggest you do so on the BLIS.

=========== Scarlet Line ===========

Service to locations in and around the Field of Computer Games

  • Telltale Games
    A shady neighborhood frequented by vendors and fans of downloadable story games. Noted Phrenopolitan Dave Grossman is often spotted disembarking here - to what nefarious purpose one can only speculate.

  • Grumpy Gamer
    The mountaintop cave from which spurts the wisdom of games industry guru and noted crank Ron Gilbert. (Ron also takes a break from crankiness and gurudom to host this website, for which we thank him.)

  • Double-Fine
    Travelers can view the elaborate factory in which missing children toil ceaselessly to breathe life into the brutal whims of notorious game designer Tim Schafer. Tours are available but dangerous.

  • =========== Viridian Line ===========

    Destinations along the River of Creative Juices

  • xkcd Labs
    A research institution known for conducting diabolical experiments in which scientists draw comics. The results are fascinating.

  • Axe Cop
    What happens when comics are drawn by an adult but written by a 5-year-old. Fun!

  • Exploding Dog Gallery
    Not as disgusting as it sounds.

  • The Neo-Futurarium
    Unusual theater in the real-life Chicago area.

  • =========== Cobalt Line ===========

    A scenic ride along the vast Boulevard of Visual Imagery

  • Michael Grossman Photographs
    A landscape of photographs, some of which might even be photographs of landscapes.

  • Lee Grossman Photographs
    Photography runs in the family. Like gout.

  • Partial Sight
    Don't let the title fool you, Peter has a good eye.

  • Spudvision
    The sometimes disturbing scribbles of noted mad genius artist and filmmaker Steve Purcell.

  • =========== Pumpkin Line ===========

    Express trains to October running year-round

  • Villafane Studios
    Workplace of an excellent pumpkin artist with a style very different from what you see in our own Pumpkin House of Horrors.

  • Pumpkinrot
    A shadowy place, full of inspiring creepiness.

  • The Kenova Pumpkin House
    Some folks who go all out at Halloween.

  • Eerie Evenings
    Halloween storytelling in a creepy old house in Salem, MA. It's not nearly as all out as the late, lamented Eerie Events at the Peabody Essex, but it's probably the closest thing you'll find. Check it out if you're near Salem in October.

  • =========== Plum Line ===========

    Trains to Streaming, Podcastle, and beyond

  • Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me
    If the Daily Show was weekly and it was on radio, and it was done in a quiz show format where you could call in and win a newscaster's voice on your home answering machine, then it would be Wait Wait.

  • Stuff You Should Know
    Meet your buddies Josh and Chuck for coffee and listen to them chat about amazing facts they read somewhere recently.

  • Librivox
    Ordinary people reading extraordinary writings from the public domain. In other words, free audio books!

  • =========== Puce Line ===========

    In and around the Blog Bogs

  • Spectre Collie
    Publishing offices of The Journal of Poorly-Explained Phenomena. Proprietor Chuck Jordan comments intelligently and at length on items selected from the tremendous quantities of media he consumes.