The POTW: Verse Til It Hurts

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POTW #709
(Week of 3 January, 2010)
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This is not so far removed from actual recent experiences. And by the way, I think it's a shame that the domain "twaddle.com" is not currently being used for anything.

Land of Opportunities

A cup of coffee, large, I told the outrospective teen
Who smiled and asked if he should leave a bit of room for cream
And did I want to purchase the extended warranty?
Just in case, you never know, he offered helpfully
And possibly I'd like to have a heating service plan
A sweetener subscription, conversation-on-demand
I brought my wife along for those, I wittily deflected
Some argument insurance then, you'll want to be protected

I sat and was surprised to hear a voice beneath my chair
A pressure sensor triggering a speaker under there
Sitting down and music have a usage correlation
So it would like to give me some important information
About an innovative entertainment destination
A web-enabled, HD-ready, mobile cushion station
It's something I cannot afford to not be in the loop on
So reach below my seat and I will find a free song coupon

The table spoke up next, it introduced itself as "Ray"
It knew my name, address and phone and just how much I weigh
Receptors in my coffee cup had analyzed my DNA
Passed it to the table via hidden Bluetooth relay
And I was predisposed by genes to hair loss, curliness and grey
Without question I would want to buy a new toupee
So I would find an offer in my Twaddle feed today
In fact it had connected to my bank to set up auto-pay
And it was glad to tell me that delivery was underway

I asked my wife if she was as annoyed by this as me
She offered an agreement package, absolutely free

Copyright © 2010 by Dave Grossman

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